See, the problem with a gigantic lunch is that afterward you just want to sleep; and if you're sleepy during a client conference you may not ask all the right questions. So I built a bankruptcy checklist so there wouldn't be any surprises.
Now, nothing at all will fully eliminate all bad surprises in a bankruptcy case; you may have a bankruptcy trustee who just plain doesn't like you (doesn't happen often, but it could) or you might just forget to list an asset (and if you do, God help you, given the 2005 amendments). But if you answer these questions before you come in and see me, it'll give me (or them) more time to answer YOUR questions, which is a good thing.
This particular list is a work in progress. I'm going to play around with it over time to make it more perfect, but for now, use it to accumulate information before you come in to say hello to me or anybody else you like.
Let your prospective lawyer know the following:
Your name:
Your phone numbers:
Your email address:
Your physical address:
Do you pass the means test? (remember the free online means test calculator); don't panic if you don't pass. We'll talk.
Did you file your most recent bankruptcy MORE THAN eight years ago?
Have you lived in Arizona for the last two years?
Do you know that you WON'T, in all probability, discharge tax debt, debts associated with child support and alimony, fraud judgments, and student loans? If you have such debts, list them here:
Are you judgment-free? If not, list your judgments and describe them:
Do you have LESS than $150,000 in equity in your primary residence? How much less?
Do you have LESS than $5,000 in equity in any car?
Have you made some of the payments on a car not titled in your name, like your child's car?
Do you have a car titled in your name, but all the payments were made by somebody else?
Do you want to surrender your car to the lien holder?
Do you want to keep your car? If so, learn about reaffirmation (I'll link to this word in an upcoming edit)(note: I'd rather have a root canal than do a reaffirmation for you)
Have you filed your last three years of tax returns? (note that the trustee will want to see those, PRONTO, right after a filing, along with a bunch of other copies of documents. Make sure you do not disappoint the nice trustee. Not kidding even a little bit.)
Do you have a tax refund still owed to you? Do you know that if you are owed a tax refund on the date of filing, you should kiss that tax refund good-bye? Because you MUST turn it over to the trustee, because it's property of the estate. If you don't have an emergency, better to wait and buy a little food with it, but maybe that's just me. You MIGHT get back a pro-rated slice of the tax refund, SOMEDAY, but better if you count it as gone forever if it's owed to you on the date of the filing.
Are you suing somebody, or do you have a reason to sue somebody? Because you MUST list your cause of action and the trustee WILL own it when a filing happens. So if you were looking to collect on your whiplash lawsuit, forget about it. It belongs to the trustee.
Have you been accused of fraud in any context?
Have you actually committed fraud in any context? (for instance, did you sort of fib about making a million dollars a year in income so you could get a big limit on your credit cards. Tell me now, it'll be less painful than if I have to find out later)(and it's not like I've never heard it before, whatever it is)
Do you have big non-exempt assets, like other houses, real property in general, stocks or bonds, jet-skis, airplanes, boats, toy-haulers, three-wheelers, dune buggies, gliders, hot-air balloons, Waterford crystal collections, Beanie Baby collections, stock options, or ANY OTHER BIG STUFF which the trustee could sell to pay your creditors?
Do you have retirement accounts like 401k or pension accounts of any kind? What kind and how much in them?
Do you have an inheritance to which you might become entitled within the next year or so? Another way to ask this is the following: do you have a puny rich relative who likes you a lot and who will die soon? Because if they go to heaven within six months of your filing, the inheritance you might have gotten goes into the estate. Or you lose your discharge.
Do you need open-heart surgery or a brain transplant (to see if you're paying attention)? If so, maybe we wait until after the surgery.
Are you planning to get a divorce soon? If so, leave now. Put down the magazine and the soda pop, I don't want to talk to you. If the two of you disagree, and one of you tells me to go left, and the other tells me to go right, I'm frozen in place and can't chew my gum. Uncomfortable. So leave.
Are you employed? ARE YOU SELF-EMPLOYED?
Do you own all or any part of a corporation, limited liability company, partnership, or any other business entity, or a dba? Talk to me A LOT about your business, if you have one.
How much do you make per year in regular income?
How much are your secured debts?
How much are your unsecured debts?
Have you bounced checks you didn't cover? Note: bad idea.
Do you have dishonored gambling markers from Vegas? Not kidding. This is a big deal. Go to jail, do not pass go, unless handled properly.
Have you made any transfers of any sort in the last year? Four years? What were they?
Do you have check registers that show where you've spent your money? Or other records?
Do you fully understand that you have to list ALL your creditors, even if you want to pay them, or you dispute them, or you love them, or you hate them, or they're relatives, and that you must also list the collection agencies and lawyers who have tried to collect for your creditors?
Did you get that you have to list all your creditors? With correct addresses and zip codes and account numbers? And that I'm telling you to pull THREE credit reports as a safety net, although you will want to review your own records first.
Do you get it that you have to list all your assets? Even the broken down truck with no transmission? And even the pyramid scheme $4,000 of stale cosmetics in the store room? And you'll get in BIG TROUBLE if you don't list all your stuff? And that the trustee has antenna like My Favorite Martian and will, not may, know if you don't list stuff? No, I'm not kidding, actually. Under their hair. Or behind their ears.
Do you get it that you have to list all your assets, and put a value on them, and that you have to value each television separately? You can't say, "six televisions, value unknown" ?
One quick question here: do you understand that you're going to have to list all your debts and all your assets, and if you're "cute" the trustee will be your worst nightmare? And that you will wish you had never filed or been born? Just checking.
Did you STOP using your credit cards at least 90 days ago? This one isn't fatal, but tell me.
Did you repay a debt to a relative within the last year? Big debt, big repayment, big problem. Preference.
Did anybody cosign on any of your debts? List 'em also.
Did you cosign on a debt for someone else? List 'em.
Do you understand that you have to keep me informed if you move within the next three years, because your case may be open for three years?
Do you understand that I'm not your lawyer for any purposes until you've signed my retainer agreement and paid the retainer and the filing fee?
Do you understand you MUST do pre and post filing consumer credit counseling, which will cost you around $100?
Are you currently being sued? Why? What's the answer date? Or was it answered?
Is there a trustee's sale scheduled on your primary residence?
WHAT ELSE do you think I ought to know about you before I decide (or anybody else decides) whether to accept you as a client? Is there a murder warrant out on you? Are you a legal citizen of the United States? Are you a member of an organized crime family who murders lawyers who get results you don't like (in which case, have I got a lawyer for you! Great guy! You'll love him!).
And do you understand that the forms don't fill themselves out, YOU DO, and that you'll need to do a complete, truthful and accurate job of filling out the forms online so your case won't be a disaster? Note: my paralegal has told me she has a friend in an organized crime family who will, not may, visit me if I ever take another "big cardboard box with bills in it" bankruptcy case. So if that's you, have a great day! I'll refer you to a beginner who needs the practice!
Now go back and finish your bankruptcy homework by printing the form there, filling it out for me, and then set up an appointment with me if you haven't already done that!
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